{"id":8857,"date":"2025-05-04T20:26:42","date_gmt":"2025-05-05T00:26:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sharewatch.com\/wp\/2025\/05\/04\/my-boss-wants-to-sleep-on-my-couch-every-week\/"},"modified":"2025-05-04T20:26:42","modified_gmt":"2025-05-05T00:26:42","slug":"my-boss-wants-to-sleep-on-my-couch-every-week","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sharewatch.com\/wp\/2025\/05\/04\/my-boss-wants-to-sleep-on-my-couch-every-week\/","title":{"rendered":"My Boss Wants to Sleep on My Couch Every Week"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\" data-testid=\"companionColumn-0\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\"><em class=\"css-2fg4z9 e1gzwzxm0\">Send questions about the office, money, careers and work-life balance to <\/em>workfriend@nytimes.com<em class=\"css-2fg4z9 e1gzwzxm0\">. Include your name and location, or a request to remain anonymous. Letters may be edited.<\/em><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"css-1u37br4 eoo0vm40\" id=\"link-761a22a7\">A Weekly Work Sleepover?<\/h2>\n<blockquote class=\"css-1ggt3fz etf134l0\">\n<p class=\"css-12wzsk6 evys1bk0\">I really need advice, other than that which ChatGPT has already provided.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-12wzsk6 evys1bk0\">My supervisor\u2019s husband recently got a job at a university a two-hour drive from ours. They are moving to be close to his job and she has asked and received approval to be hybrid in her position. She informed me that she will come to work a couple of days per week and plans to stay with me overnight so she doesn\u2019t have to commute.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-12wzsk6 evys1bk0\">I felt compelled to agree at the moment, because SHE IS MY BOSS. But the more I think about this, the more uncomfortable I feel. She even demanded a key to my place shortly after she told me that she would be staying with me. This feels like a gross abuse of power and invasion of privacy. She also thinks that we are best friends and says this frequently during the workweek. I just smile in return. I DO NOT think we are best friends. She is my boss, and, honestly, not someone I would like to host in my home during the workweek. I consider this a form of bringing my work home. She is a very loud person and I am introverted. I need my time at home alone to decompress and re-energize after the workday, which tends to be loud and chaotic, largely because she is constantly talking very loudly in our shared office space.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-12wzsk6 evys1bk0\">She and her husband are moving this weekend, and she plans to start staying at my place as soon as next week at least two nights per week. I am deeply uncomfortable with this and feel coerced into it, but am worried about hurting her feelings or inviting professional repercussions if I say no, especially since she repeatedly emphasizes our friendship over our supervisor\/employee relationship. She also has not offered to compensate me in any way to stay at my place, even though that would make no difference in my feelings about this. I don\u2019t know how to tell her this in a way that won\u2019t feel like a rejection of the way she views our relationship.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-12wzsk6 evys1bk0\"><em class=\"css-2fg4z9 e1gzwzxm0\">\u2014 Anonymous<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">Oh my god, what? When your question arrived in my inbox, I immediately sent it to my editor and we agreed that it had to make it into this week\u2019s Work Friend column.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">But where do I begin? There\u2019s so much wrong here.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">There\u2019s the \u201cinforming\u201d you that this is something that is going to happen, and the \u201cdemanding\u201d of a key.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">The expectation that you go along with all this.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">The assumption that the two of you are best friends.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-s99gbd StoryBodyCompanionColumn\" data-testid=\"companionColumn-1\">\n<div class=\"css-53u6y8\">\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">It \u201cfeels\u201d like a gross abuse of power? It IS a gross abuse of power! But it doesn\u2019t have to be an invasion of privacy. You can say \u201cabsolutely not.\u201d Or, at the very least, \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-at9mc1 evys1bk0\">\u201cI don\u2019t know how to tell her this in a way that won\u2019t feel like a rejection of the way she views our relationship,\u201d you write.<\/p>\n<div class=\"css-kbghgg\">\n<div class=\"css-121kum4\">\n<div class=\"css-171quhb\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"css-asuuk5\"><noscript><\/p>\n<div class=\"css-7axq9l\" data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-noscript\"><svg width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewbox=\"0 0 24 24\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"css-1b5b8u1\"><path fill=\"currentColor\" fill-rule=\"evenodd\" d=\"M2.5 12a9.5 9.5 0 1 1 19 0 9.5 9.5 0 0 1-19 0Zm8.5 1.75v-7.5h2v7.5h-2Zm0 2v2h2v-2h-2Z\" clip-rule=\"evenodd\"><\/path><\/svg><\/p>\n<div data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-noscript-message\" class=\"css-6yo1no\">\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">We are having trouble retrieving the article content.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/noscript><\/p>\n<div class=\"css-1dv1kvn\" id=\"optimistic-truncator-a11y\" tabindex=\"-1\">\n<hr\/>\n<p>Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and\u00a0log into\u00a0your Times account, or\u00a0subscribe\u00a0for all of The Times.<\/p>\n<hr\/>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"css-1g71tqy\"><svg width=\"24\" height=\"24\" viewbox=\"0 0 24 24\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"css-63woee\" data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-spinner\"><g fill=\"currentColor\"><path d=\"M11.28 22.8a.72.72 0 1 0 1.44 0v-6.72a.72.72 0 1 0-1.44 0v6.72Z\" opacity=\".37\"><\/path><path d=\"M17.766 21.16a.72.72 0 1 0 1.165-.846l-3.95-5.436a.72.72 0 1 0-1.165.846l3.95 5.437Z\" opacity=\".26\"><\/path><path d=\"M1.506 14.653a.72.72 0 0 0 .445 1.37l6.391-2.078a.72.72 0 1 0-.445-1.369l-6.39 2.077Z\" opacity=\".61\"><\/path><path d=\"M5.07 20.314a.72.72 0 0 0 1.164.847l3.95-5.437a.72.72 0 1 0-1.165-.846l-3.95 5.436Z\" opacity=\".48\"><\/path><path d=\"M22.049 16.022a.72.72 0 0 0 .445-1.37l-6.391-2.076a.72.72 0 1 0-.445 1.37l6.39 2.076Z\" opacity=\".17\"><\/path><path d=\"M22.494 9.347a.72.72 0 1 0-.445-1.37l-6.391 2.078a.72.72 0 1 0 .445 1.369l6.39-2.077Z\" opacity=\".09\"><\/path><path d=\"M6.234 2.84a.72.72 0 0 0-1.165.846l3.95 5.436a.72.72 0 0 0 1.165-.846l-3.95-5.437Z\" opacity=\".87\"><\/path><path d=\"M1.951 7.978a.72.72 0 1 0-.445 1.37l6.391 2.076a.72.72 0 1 0 .445-1.37l-6.39-2.076Z\" opacity=\".74\"><\/path><path d=\"M18.93 3.686a.72.72 0 0 0-1.164-.847l-3.95 5.437a.72.72 0 0 0 1.165.846l3.95-5.436Z\" opacity=\".02\"><\/path><path d=\"M12.72 1.2a.72.72 0 1 0-1.44 0v6.72a.72.72 0 0 0 1.44 0V1.2Z\"><\/path><\/g><\/svg><\/p>\n<div data-testid=\"optimistic-truncator-message\" class=\"css-6yo1no\">\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Thank you for your patience while we verify access.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Already a subscriber?\u00a0Log in.<\/p>\n<p class=\"css-3kpklk\">Want all of The Times?\u00a0Subscribe.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Send questions about the office, money, careers and work-life balance to workfriend@nytimes.com. Include your name and location, or a request to remain anonymous. Letters may be edited. A Weekly Work Sleepover? I really need advice, other than that which ChatGPT has already provided. My supervisor\u2019s husband recently got a job at a university a two-hour [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8858,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"","ocean_second_sidebar":"","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"","ocean_custom_header_template":"","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"","ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8857","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-market","entry","has-media"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sharewatch.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8857","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sharewatch.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sharewatch.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sharewatch.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sharewatch.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8857"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sharewatch.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8857\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sharewatch.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8858"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sharewatch.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8857"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sharewatch.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8857"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sharewatch.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8857"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}